Clarity

I need him, because I Love him

Another week pass by. A lot has happen. But, I can say I can find clarity in my life right now. Something sure. Something worth fighting for. And its my man, Mr Cali.

I was involved in an accident couple weeks ago, and it was bad, really bad. Not only I hit a dog, but also another car,which is parked in the sideways. We were lucky that our car but the car, because we would have broken to two, if we hit the pole .
I was shaking, traumatised. One thing popped up in my mind is I broke Mr Cali baby white car. And I hit the dog. And when I finally step out from the car, I saw another car with broken door, and I was thinking, did someone died?.. I was trying so much, and I don't know what I'll do if Mr Cali wasn't there.
He was so calm. He grabbed me first, calm me down and start making calls. He was so dependable since I am crying and shaking. After a while, people start gathering and asking him stuff and I can see he started to feel uncomfortable. I know that face. So, I finally take over. I calm him down and let me do the taking. Since we are at my mother-tounge speaking are, so its better if I'm the one do the talking than him.
I can see people looking at him like stranger, because he looks different. But I convince them that he just like us. Then people start to talk and give ideas on how to settle things appropriately without annoys him.
And this is where I think I found my clarity.
I always thought that he is younger than me by age, but he was actually more mature than me. He handle things so calm. He ask opinions from me. He loves so much, bit doesn't suffocate me. And the endless effort. Ahh, I just love the effort. I love when he really show that he loves me. In front of his family, his friends.
He said I was amazing. Amazing?? I never thought someone would say that about me. Because it always like I know everything. He always ask me things and somehow I always knows  thing. But I feel happy when someone say that. I need it.
So for me, he may not be a perfect boyfriend who will be with you 24/7 ushering you everywhere you want to, fair skin and play really good guitar. But, for sure, I know he will be the Best Husband because he loves me, more than anything in the world, not even his money, not even his Baby White car which hit over a dog and another car. I know he will fly over to me if anything happen to me, and i know i can always can count on him. I know his love infinite so I want to return that love by giving everything of me.

I need him, because I love him. I can't imagine life without him. And I want spend forever with him.

P/s I Love You, Mr Cali.

Chapter 4: Views on Religion

I'm changing Days to Chapter.

Since the new boss coming in, I barely have time to do blog. But, I'm changing things around. I will still going to finished the challenged, but will turn it into chapters instead of days. So I won't feel guilty everyday for not blogging.

Views on Religion.

I am a Catholic. People say we always guilty. Because Jesus die for us, and yet we still do the same sin everyday. Maybe not for some of us. I am a Catholic since I was born. Being a Catholic is not what others say , very strict and a lot of rules. For me, being a Catholic makes you feel closer to God, not just only based on the Holy Bible but through our daily life.

I confess that I haven't read the whole Holy Bible. But, doesn't mean I am a bad Christian. I don't think that reading the Holy Bible over and over again will put you into different category. I am more to practise the living as a Catholic, not the one who are too obsessed with the Holy Bible.

I made friends with a lot of different people. My best friends are Muslims. They are very open Islam believers. They wear hijab and pray 5 times a day, but I never feel discrimination with them. I understabd their needs to pray and they should understand me to pray.

I guess religion is platform for you to get closer to God. As a Catholic, I feel closer to God, when I pray Our Father, Ave Maria and when I sing holy songs. Probably as a Muslims, they feel closer to God when they pray 5 times a day and follow all rules.

One common thing about religion is they never ask us to do bad things, such as killing people and stuff. It just not right. Some people use religion as their way to kill people. That's just sick!

I believe if all religion respect each other, the world would be in peace. But the Satan needs to work too.

Sincerly,
APPY.H.S

Thank You

I feel I want to speak to Lord this time.

Dearest Lord,

Hi there. Probably been a while since we talked. Thank you for saving us the other day. The accident was pretty messed up, but luckily no one injured. Except for the dog who ran into us and died. I am sorry for that. I hope his soul rest in peace with the other dogs.

For this day, I would like to say thank you. For everything I have in life. I must say, its near perfection. I couldn't ask for more, well maybe I can :) but now it's almost great.

My parents. Amazing parents. Sometimes annoying :), but that's what parents should be. Even thou they are not the brightest people on earth, they have big qualities. Big heart. They care for us, so much. Sometimes, they may not understand, but they are always there to listen. And they always support us. Doesn't matter how stupid our decision is. I love them very much. I am practically devoted my life to make them happy. Until I got married and start to have my own family. :)

I am grateful for my big family. I think we are the most greatest big family ever. We are so close and so devoted with each other. We treat each other as brothers and sisters. We backed up each other, and took care of each other. I hope this relationship will stay strong. Always, forever.

Commitment

I guess I have issue with commitment.

I always wants to get married. I want to have children of my own. I want to have someone who always there for me. Physically and mentally. I want someone to hold at night, to listen to me at 3am . I want someone who there for me, support me and never want anything else than me. I want someone who accept my flaws and understand than I am not perfect.

I don't want long distance relationship. I want somebody here, for me. Whenever I need him. I don't want to have a relationship on phone. I don't want relationship based on money status or, education status. I need someone who make me as his first priority. Who accept me even If I lie to him, so many times. Who always listen to what I like, and what I don't like. Who care for my feeling.

I am afraid for being alone again. I'm afraid of being let down. Im afraid that life surprises me in a way I couldn't accept it. I'm afraid I don't have enough courage to fight for it. Because I still have doubt. Or maybe I'm still waiting for the same person. ?

Whatever it is, I'm tired of planning. Tired of waiting. Tired of expecting. Tired of trying so hard.

When your mind conflicted with your heart, which one do you choose?

Kolo Mee versus Sunny Hill Ice Cream, 10th August 2015

Its just two hours before boarding to KUL, i manage to get some handmade Kolo Mee and Sunny Hill Ice Cream.

 I finished only 2 bowls. :)

Delicious dessert under the hot Sun. 

It was really great. Thanks to colleague, Mr Barry who kind enough to drive us around. 

Pasar Serikin, 9th August 2015

I was at the border of Sarawak - Indonesia.

Only hour away from Kuching City. And i fall in love with it. 

Pasar Serikin, is a famous place with things from Indonesia sold to tourist. Peninsular came here to buy cheap clothes and mostly kebayas. The market was really long. 

If you want to come here, make sure to depart early, so you wouldn't caught in the hot sun. 

Bali Songket. RM14

Kebaya RM45

Bakso Barokah.

Kerepek Bayam.

Fairy Cave, Bau Sarawak

Rainforest World Music Festival 2015, 8th August 2015

Its like Dreams come True..

One more checklist done..

So I went to this festival in Sarawak Cultural Village in Kuching Sarawak on the 7th to 10th August. I bought a one day pass to the festival , guess it was enough to go and experience the whole thing.

Lucky, Friday was an 'Optional Day' to work, because there another big event happening in KL which the Grand Prix Car Race, ~or something like that. So staffs are unable to park their cars in KLCC and most of the major road in KL are closed. I discuss with y boss, so he said its ok if i dont come since i have finished all my work and there nothing urgent on Friday.

So i took the day off, pack things and start my journey.

Chopper and One Piece travelling with me this time. 

~DIY ripped jeans~

The RajDave

Fee...

Polo Luggage versus American Tourister

Lion Dance Community Festival

~not mine

I met few friends and my cousins in Kuching and the journey starts the next morning.

On the 8th August, Saturday, we went to the Sarawak Cultural Village by Waze. The scenery along the way was breathtaking and its almost feels like they already planned the whole thing. One thing for sure, there is no litter along the way. It was clean and really nice to see.


I have few photos that i would love to share. Pretty much what happens.

Childhood friend ~in the middle

I wish I can make this permenant.

Dream Catcher , Melanau Way.

Mini Stalls

Melanau House

Higschool Bestfriends Reunite !

Ice Cream Gula Apong

That most of it. I will be going again next year. That's for sure.

Raya Excitement

Its been a while.

I have been away for few weeks.. There is so many things happens. I hope to share it with all.

Will continue my 30 Post Entries. For sure.

Tough Weeks.


Love you Muchos...

Day 3 : Drugs and Alcohol. I Think...

Hi Lovelies...

It's the third. I feel I'm really committed to this. I know some might think this is silly, but there no harm being silly if that makes you happy. :)

So Day 3 topic is a bit assignment stereotype.  I remember my English class with Ms Shalini (which i remember her name, surprisingly !) she ask us students to come up with a title for a public speaking next week. So, here I am. With high but being modest about my English. Since I first enter the class, i have been giving high expectation to the floor, so probably they expect me to speak good too. I am not too concern about that, at that moment. Not until my girl tell me what she expect from me. I am concern that I cannot find a title which is not too serious, but actually it do happen.

So, my topic is ... "Shopaholic". An addiction to buy things, eg; apparel, bags,sports equipment and etc.. without really think about, and later cause financial crisis to itself. Kinda met to the theme, right?

So back to our concern today which is Drugs and Alcohol.

Drug and Alcohol are two things that really connects with each other. Drug is another term for medicine. We use drugs in most of our daily consumption such as cough syrup, carbonate drinks, and so much more. It is importance to take prescription or advise from legal doctor of pharmacist before any intake of this substances. Drug has been use since the creation of men, from natural herb that is found in the jungle, and up until now, there are few people that still practicing natural herb as their remedies for health problem.

Alcohol on the other, is on of Drugs category. A liter of an alcoholic drinks which contains drugs may leads to few pros and cons. Alcoholic liquid can be a medicine to cuts or wounded parts of outer body. It can kill the bacteria from the wounded parts, ' just like in the movies'. Some use alcohol to stay warm. in cold country like Alaska, or even in the United States, cities like New York and Chicago, which apparently have been hit by 'Frozen', alcohol drinks might be one of the choice to get warm.

In my hometown, we treat alcohol drinks as a celebration of togetherness, We usually cook our own drink in the traditional way, and it is kept under room temperature. After 1 or 2 months, the drink is ready to be serve as Aramai Tii where all family members and friends come together to bind the relationship.

But obviously, both Drugs and Alcohol are triggering addiction problem. A DNA craving inside of human body which have been triggered due to some events or memory that causes trauma and loneliness. Then, these group of people tries to avoid thinking about it, by taking something to their knowledge, can ease the pain that they having. So, instead of praying hard and think on how to solve the equation, they took a de-tour, by taking some pills and drink alcohol.

Drugs and Alcohol, if combine can be a terrible partner. Some people took both at the same time, and the result is pretty nasty. They became unconscious. They have no control with their environment, their body and is a pain in the a**. Once, i follow my friend to a birthday party, they use the pills to let the birthday girl drunk. So this girl started laughing, crying, with every emotions she has, and start to fall due to massive dizziness. She fall down eventually and couldn't get up on her own. Is was really embarrassing.

But, she is lucky because we are there to bring her home. What if there's no one there to be with her, and some random stranger might bring her home, and do what God forbid to her, all the unwanted things, such as what we saw in the TV, read in the newspaper and scroll down Facebook news post.

Personally for me, the usage of Drug and Alcohol is not harmful if it used in low quantity. There is no need to take a lot of Drug, if it brings you down, And there is no need to consume and drinks hundreds of tins and bottles of whisky, rum, vodka, beer, 'tapai' if the problem is still there in the morning. It will never do you good if it over consume, and it will never solve the problem, unless the problem is to find who is the greater drinker and not vomit of all. But there will always someone who will beat you down.

Wow, its a long story to be told. I love writing long essays, which the title is not that factual.


I'll see you tomorrow with next challenge. Love you peeps.. :)

Day 2 : Where I'll be in 10 Years..

Hi again dearies...

There is no one at office so I decide to come back early and help my new housemate to move her things into the house. I am so impress that she got so many boxes of her things and i wonder how she manage to put everything in that small room.

So, Day 2 challenge is Where I'll be in 10 years. Let me use my imagination here....

To make things clear I am 26 years old now...**yep, last generation of the 80's..

So in 10 years time, here is my checklist;

1) Married,

hopefully with my current boyfriend.

2) Two kids at least,

- if more its better :)

3) Have own car

- automatic Mini Cooper :)

4) Starting/ Owning small business,

- so I don't need to go to work 7.30 am anymore. Been interested in wedding planner thingy and gowns. Or maybe bakery shop will do.

5) Been to Europe and Disneyland

- could be backpacking with love. Cheaper, Challenging and can be Cozy with love all the time. I'll post about it soon..

6) Travel across Vietnam

- in love with Vietnam, So much. I already start researching about the things to do and go there. 

7) Complete building family house at kampong.

- start building next year. No one can get married if this house is not finished. 

8) Probably living in landed house. **finger cross Mr Cali..!

- this is one of the dream Mr Cali and I dream of our future. To have landed house with a pond and small garden and place for puppy and chicken. 

9) Loving what I have and what I'm doing

- Key success of all this is to be Happy. Nothing will ever get done if we are not happy with our financial, partner and families. To love everything despite of their good and weakness sounds tacky, but its hard to be done. That's what i want to be able to do in the next 10 years. To be able to Forgive and Forget. 

10) Better and wiser

I would say this will be the same as above.

11) Prettier,

- so my children friends will be so envy of my kids because they have pretty mommy, and my husband will love my cooking , because I practice everyday/ every week. 

There you go..:) not much, because I hate to set high expectation in my life anymore. Less is better, Let Life Surprise me...

Thank you for reading this... :)

Any suggestion to improve my writing please do so in the comment below..Love you.

Day 1 : Current Relationship

Hi Beautiful Peoples...

How is your day? I hope its all fine and wonderful. Mine is great. Got 4 days holiday due to the festive season and i spent my whole weekend at home, which is quite rare these days. 

 So, as per challenge, I'm starting my entree with my current relationship status. Yes, I have a boyfriend. Honestly writing, we met in the wrong time, but perfect moment. I was in a 7-year relationship with my-ex and he was engaged. How not wrong could that be? 

 Perfect moment is when we found each other, where both of us need some air to breath and that air is with each other's arm. I was so content with my-ex, fulfilling his needs, facing his family as well as mine and neglecting what i want and what i need. It just that after I got the job, I started feeling like this is the time to stand and start talking. But, seems like a whisper to him. 

 So I met my boyfriend, who is also in the middle of heart dilemma. We met and start talking and laughing and crying and love comes after. I have tried so hard to avoid any special feelings, but he is so great, mature, and knows what he wants.

The thing I like the most is that, he dare to take up commitment and really strive to it. He plans his life, just like i love to plan, and he executes. Despite of his busy work schedule, he always try to have some time to catch with me and listen to my nonsense. 

We are in a long distance relationship. Due to work location, i have to stay in the city, while he regularly come and visit me every month. But, thanks to whoever create the Internet and Facetime, we manage to "see" and "talk" to each other all the time. 

 To say it is as a perfect relationship, I cannot say that. But, I believe in this relationship. We both want the same things. Maybe I want to work overseas and have experience and travel the world, while he want to have all the things he never had during his childhood, get a sporty bike or car. But he never let me feel that to would stop us.

I think, the best relationship is where you have 3 Things Honored. 

1) Trust 

2) Respect

3) Freedom

Every couple who mastered all these three elements, would have the Perfect Relationship. I would explain why in my next post dearies.

 We are working on it. Especially me.

 Things are going pretty well and heating up. I want to keep it that way. 

Love you all Lovelies. 

p/s - I am kind a new to this whole writing things, if you have comments, please share you thoughts so i can improve. Love you ..Muahhh!!

Prologue...

Everything will start with first.

Let me start with few of mine.

First day of school. First day of dentist appointment. First time of being injected, at school. First time blood transfer. First time being out of the house. First time boarding flight. First time clubbing ;) First time lying. First time stealing. First time owning. First Love.

I have been thinking of doing this for a long time. I think i did do once. But never got far. It was the time, where everyone has blog, and you wanted to have one, too. Just like when everyone has a boyfriend, and you wanted one, too. So you wouldn't be left alone, single.

It always worry me. Do i say it correctly? Do my English good enough? Will i not over-typing something too direct from my heart, that may interrupt the peace of social media writing and ended in Facebook with group PAGE.. " I HATE AOSHIA.APPY" ...

Guess i overthinking it though.

So, yeah. I did it again. This time it should be a good one. Since I'm writing with full conscience and ideas. Well, I am always with idea.

"There is no bad idea. It just need few twisting " This quote really boost my confidence to give more ideas.

As of now, i have no focus on this writing. So to create and ice-breaking, i figure maybe i should start with a 30 Post Day Challenge. I hope after completing this, I will have more topics to cover. I have so many ideas, topics and feelings to be express out, and I thought I give writing a try.

So this might be typical, but let me have a try. and we will see how it goes.

Be Safe :)